Woman with many notes pinned to her blouse to symbolize having too much to do

THRIVE

Four steps to live a life you love

It was my junior year of college and I had big plans. On the slate for fall term was 16 credit hours, a campus job, two volunteer positions, a romantic interest and spots in at least two performing choirs. On the side, I also was to teach a weekly yoga class, tutor Italian language students and participate in a twice weekly science internship.

Several friends told me that it seemed a bit much. But I was excited and confident that my passion and drive would see me through.

It was an impressive juggling act for the first few weeks, and ultimately my passion did carry me through, just not to my planned destination. I scraped through the term with 11 academic credits, many frayed nerves and an application for academic leave.

The job, volunteerism, romance, choirs, additional credits and much of my social life disappeared by November. My attempt to "get it all done" had run me into a nervous breakdown. I remember feeling confused about why it hadn't worked out.

Reflecting back, I see that I had talent, inspiration, youth, intelligence and energy on my side. I set goals that seemed reasonable and planned my time accordingly. The trouble was, I gave equal importance to everything. When things got hairy with my class work, I didn't let other responsibilities go—I just stayed up later. Things started to slip and that didn't fit my self-expectations, so my emotional stress hit the roof.

Years later, the number of responsibilities, passions, and demands on my time hasn't decreased—quite the contrary. The lesson of that semester, though, has stuck with me: Many things can be important, but only a few can be central. I took spring semester off, and came back with three clear priorities―school, yoga and music. Once those were taken care of, my remaining time would be unstructured.

In truth, there was little unstructured time, and focusing on three things was almost boring in comparison to my fall semester. But at the year's end, I was a happy, healthy biology major and able to stay on top of things. I felt successful, and I had found a new way to approach my passions and priorities.

As you consider resolutions, goals and plans, what are your top priorities? What is filling your time but not supporting your values? What people, ideas or activities excite you? Acting on your values provides what I call the "second paycheck." These are things that money can't buy, but that have immeasurable worth―like time spent with the kids, painting, hiking in the woods or close friendships.

Here is my challenge to you in four easy steps:

  1. Buy a stack of 3 x 5 index cards. Each night this month, draw a blank card before going to bed.
  2. On the front, write down three core values and/or important goals.
  3. On the back, note three small things you will do the next day to meet those values or goals.
  4. The next day, do those three things again.

Repeat these steps until you can't think of anything else that is important to do. Sound easy? Let me know how it goes!

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Share this article

MORE LIKE THIS

Mindful eating: Five ways to conquer your eating habits

Continue reading

EMPOWER YOURSELF


Get fun, inspiring, provider-reviewed articles sent to your inbox.

Sign up for our email newsletter