I miss Prince already,
and I never even met him.
Many patients
have told me this week they are surprised to experience such strong emotions after
the untimely death of Prince. In fact, media reports depict grief related to
Prince as wide-spread across the globe, rather than just here in Minnesota. The
reasons for this are many.
1. Denial. Many people don’t want to connect
with the reality that we all have a limited time here on this earth, so his
death rips the bandage off this illusion. In our ever-hurried lifestyles we
often don’t want to take time to think about our mortality. Thus, thoughts of
death are repressed until a rude awakening, such as Prince’s sudden death. We
are unwillingly jolted out of denial.
2. Too
close to home. A celebrity
impacts us through complex modes of communication, connecting with us through a
variety of mediums, while eliciting emotions (at different venues) with
multiple sensory experiences. This composite of impressions makes the celebrity
seem larger than life. Without realizing how we have
identified with someone like Prince, we are incognizant of how close his death
can be to our hearts. We then may feel it is “too close to home.” Further, with
Prince’s home here in Minnesota, we identify more deeply; this is too close for
many, and we have difficulty tolerating the reality and finality of it all.
3. Nostalgia. Many people “grew up” with Prince as
we transitioned in life from one stage to another, to the point that he almost
seemed like a member of our extended family even if we didn’t know him
personally. His death may feel like a close or distant relative has died, as if
we believe we knew the star. As if he belonged to us, and we to him. Then, our
memories get triggered when we hear a song by the deceased artist, leading us
to thoughts and experiences we may have not had since our adolescence or youth.
This nostalgia can be quite sentimental.
4. Sense
of community. The death of a
star gives many of us a common connection. We all need a sense of community and
connection from cradle to grave, as we don’t thrive without a sense of
belongingness. Sharing thoughts and grief about a celebrity’s loss can create a
universal human connection that is consoling to the soul.
It’s important to
remember who Prince truly was. Recent
media reports display an adult who individuated to become philanthropic in a
quiet and humble manner. His sense of identity that motivated him to give back
to others demonstrates a life ‘well-lived’.
Whether you appreciated
Prince or not, I invite you to focus on what is important to you in a life
well-lived. This includes taking time to notice – and savor – the “little”
things on a daily basis. Of course if they are purple, please let me know!