6 signs a child is experiencing emotional distress

When your child has a sore throat or fever, you likely know when it's time to call the clinic. If your child had a broken bone, you wouldn’t think twice about visiting a doctor.  But what do you do if your child exhibits behavioral changes or emotional distress? Many children, adolescents and teens have a diagnosable mental illness at some point, and too often it goes undiagnosed and untreated. 

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Wellness in both areas create the building blocks for your child's success. Supporting mental and emotional wellness in a child, adolescent or teen is important, and if you notice something seems “off” or their behavior, patterns and mood have changed, your primary care provider can help you and your child determine the next steps in your mental health journey. 

Common stressors affecting mental health

Children and teens are constantly evolving and experiencing new things. Rapid changes in structure, life events and growing up can be both exciting and stressful. 

At any age, it's common to experience stress stemming from self-esteem issues, school and grades, sports, social connections, peer pressure and social media, among other things. 

Signs of emotional distress in children, adolescents and teens

Sometimes it might be easy to spot signs your child or teen is going through a rough patch, but other times it can be hard to tell what behaviors and signs common and what kinds of behaviors should be brought up with a doctor.

It's important to note that this isn't an exhaustive list. You know your child best and a simple list tracking symptoms, triggers and frequency of any changes can give you and a provider insight into your child’s symptoms. Another helpful approach to learning more about your child’s symptoms is to proactively schedule a check-in time each day with your child. If they are experiencing increased stress, or feeling “off,” there is already a placeholder for communication. 

Most importantly, if you have a sense that your child is struggling emotionally or exhibiting certain behaviors that concern you, it's always OK to ask your child's doctor about it.   

1. Severe mood swings

Growing up can be hard, so some moodiness can be expected in your child, adolescent or teen. But extreme differences in mood or affect can be cause for concern. If your usually happy child is sad, angry or anxious for an extended period, they may be experiencing emotional distress or mental health concerns.

2. Behavior changes

Sometimes, the first to notice behavior changes could be teachers or other caregivers that spend time around your child. If your studious child stops turning in homework, or your talented singer quits choir, it can be cause for concern. Seriously consider concerns if brought to you by other adults, siblings or friends.

Sometimes, emotional distress can cause a child to revert to behaviors more typical for younger kids, such as bed-wetting or tantrums. Parents should also be mindful of changes in appetite or sleep, such as sleeping or eating too much or too little. Emotional distress or mental health concerns can also affect your child’s personal hygiene habits.

3. Stress

Stressful situations can cause emotional or mental health concerns. If there are changes in your family, like a death, divorce, a move, a school change or other current events causing stress, your child could be having trouble coping or processing. 

4. Lack of interest

If your child is struggling with their mental health or experiencing emotional distress, they may purposely stop doing the things they like, or they may inadvertently avoid things they used to find enjoyable.

Their lack of interest could range from discontinuing typical activities in and out of school, quitting sports and hobbies, or showing disinterest in connecting with friends.

5. Health concerns

At times emotional distress and mental health issues can manifest as ongoing or recurring medical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. Or, your child could be using physical health complaints to stay home from school, avoid triggering situations or otherwise hide their mental health concerns.

6. Self-harm or substance use

Any concerns about self-harm, substance use, or any alarming behaviors should be immediately brought up to your child's primary care physician or, at times, the emergency department. 

Self-harm can take many forms, including scratching, cutting, head-banging, burning, hair-pulling, or biting. Self-harm can be habit forming, so it’s important to address it early and head-on. 

If your child is experiencing a mental health emergency such as suicidal ideation or extreme self-harm, call 911 or bring them to an emergency room.

How you can support your child’s mental health

If your child’s behavior has changed, or if you are concerned with their actions or thoughts, a great first step is to bring it up with your child’s primary care doctor, either at a well-child visit or by scheduling an office visit. 

When talking to your child and their provider it’s important to avoid negative stigmas around mental health, and it’s good to remember that asking your child’s provider about an emotional concern doesn’t necessarily mean it’s serious. Kids of all ages can benefit from seeing a psychologist or other mental health professional to work on skills to help them get through emotional issues or rough patches, even if they’re experiencing these things in the short-term.

How your doctor can help

Your child’s primary care provider can serve as a guide to you. Sometimes young patients don’t have the language to explain what is going on with their mental health and instead can only describe physical symptoms like upset stomachs or headaches.

A primary care provider can help determine if the symptoms a child is experiencing are related to mental health or something else. A primary care provider can support you by advising next steps and determining if it makes sense to pursue mental health services for your child, like seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist for therapy or medication. At Allina Health, our primary care physicians partner with our mental health professionals to offer integrated medical and mental health services, so they’ll be able to aid your child’s progress. 

If you don’t have a primary care provider established, concerns can be raised during any well child check or a virtual or office visit with any provider.