6 ways to help a child with school anxiety

Heading back to school can bring up all kinds of emotions. Some students get excited, others feel nervous. Many experience a bit of both, and that’s normal for students of all ages.

Starting a new grade, meeting new teachers and adjusting to new routines can be a lot, especially for younger kids. That’s why it’s important to talk about any worries your child might have heading into a new year.

Here are six simple ways to help your child feel confident and work through back-to-school anxiety.

1. Check your emotions

Kids are great at picking up on how adults feel — even if they don’t say anything. If you’re feeling nervous about the school year, your child might notice.

It’s important to work through your concerns before talking to your child about their return-to-school feelings. You can lead by example when you exude calm and confidence about the school year.

2. Explain what the school day will look like

Don’t assume your child knows what to expect. Give them examples of what a typical day or week might look like. If you can, visit the school and show them around. It helps them picture themselves there and feel more comfortable.

Here are some things to point out:

• where they’ll get dropped off
• their classroom
• their lunchroom
• the playground
• the nurse’s office

Remind your child that even meals can be a stressbuster. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains and proteins provide their brain and body with the fuel they need to stay calm, focused and ready for anything.

3. Give appropriate details

Sometimes parents try to shield a child from information they think will cause anxiety. However, not knowing is one of the scariest things for a kid, and it can create even more nerves.

Give your student clear, age-appropriate information about what to expect this year. Knowing what’s ahead may make them feel more in control.

4. Ask specific questions

Try to avoid vague questions like, “How did your day go?” Help your child open up by being more specific:

• “How did you feel at school today?”
• “Was there anything that worried you?”
• “Did you have any tough moments?”

Listen closely and let them know their feelings are okay. Work together to come up with ideas for handling difficult situations. Children often have good ideas and sharing them can be empowering. 

5. Focus on overcoming fears

If a child says they’re scared, ask them, “What are you afraid of?” Try to understand the danger they are imagining. Listen without judgment and reassure them, even if their fears seem irrational.

Then, work through ways they might deal with the situation. When kids picture themselves solving a problem, it helps them feel braver and more prepared. It can be more effective than trying to convince them that their worries aren’t warranted.

6. Shift anxious thoughts to positive ones

Positive thinking can be a key part of effective stress management and a valuable life skill. Encourage your child to focus on good things instead of dwelling on fears. Help them identify these moments by asking them to recall things like:

• “What made you laugh today?”
• “Did you witness any acts of kindness?”
• “What was your favorite part of the day?”

If a student’s anxiety is persistent and interferes with their ability to learn, some professional mental health support may be in order. Your school and your doctor can suggest resources.

With support from you — and maybe some extra help — your child can learn to manage their worries and have a great school year.