Allina Health Hospice Foundation

My partner Arvid had end-stage Alzheimer's with dementia. And that led us to look for places for hospice care. I had talked to the nurses at the hospital. And they gave me a list of places. And then when we came here with a friend, I knew immediately that this is where I wanted Arvid to be.

The nurses and caregivers are absolutely fantastic. It's a choir of angels. And they are so caring and so loving to the patients and to me. They took as good of care of me as they were Arvid.

I didn't have to worry about his care. He was being taken care of. It gave me a chance to just be with him and strengthen our relationship. It gave me a good amount of time to start to learn to say goodbye.

That last week, I did spend the nights here. And so I was sleeping on the couch. And one of the aides came in. And I woke up a little bit, but I didn't move. And she came in the room. And she sat down in the chair next to his bed.

And she held his hand, and she talked to him. And she stroked his temples. It was so soft and so beautiful. I could have almost just cried. And I think they do that for everyone.

After Arvid had passed, they have this tradition of covering the cart with a quilt of dragonflies. And then there's a procession outside the door to the hearse. And it was just-- I still think of it, and it's-- it was wonderful. It's hard, but what a beautiful, beautiful way to say goodbye.

I think like any couple, you miss the day-to-day, the joking, being able to talk to each other. I know now that when I have a good day, I sometimes forget. I think, I got to get home and tell Arvid this.

But I still talk to him. I know he's around. I know that he's helping me now with my little journey. I was diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer about a month and a half before Arvid passed. We're still at a manageable point. But who knows how long that will last.

I want to give my family the same opportunity that I had with Arvid, to spend the time together, hopefully to talk, to come to terms, come to peace, just like I had with Arvid. I don't want them worrying about IVs, and medications, and all of that stuff. And I don't want them to have the burden of caring for me.

I want them to have that quality time that I had with Arvid. And that is so important to me. And I can't think of a better place to be.

We have artwork all around our houses that Chuck made gifts for us over the years. There's not a room in my house that doesn't have something he made.

No, nor is there in mine. Every single room has some of his artwork.

We say Susan is the curator of his art collection.

It's not mine, but I'm taking care of it.

And we share the collection. It travels.

He loved the symbolism of the dragonfly. And then he would give us objects with dragonflies. And we would give him objects with dragonflies. And it became our way of sharing what was coming and what had happened. I just think the whole concept of Wedum was very comforting to Chuck and in his last months.

This is a great place. And I think that everyone should be able to come here if this is where he or she wants to be. And a lot of different situations call for different types of care. But a person who wants to come here should not be held back because he or she can't afford it.

I'm not afraid of my plan. It's what I've requested. I know when the time comes, everything is going to be all taken care of. And that's what I want.

3Play Media 10/03/18, 5:02pm