Subject of drawing: Sometimes I really
This project is designed to help family members realize that after a death,
each person has different needs. Some are reacting to change and need
assurance, others to tension and need a hug. Others are filled with longing
for the loved one to return.
Before talking about the drawings, ask each child to complete the following
open-ended statements about their picture. One at a time read aloud the
fill-in-the-blank statements below. Write completed sentences on the back
of the picture, or ask young children to tell you what to write.
The name of my picture is:
I wish I could:
If I could change one thing I would:
Sometimes it seems like:
Don’t ever expect me to:
What I need most today is:
Show and tell
After completing the sentences, tell your children that you hope they
will share something about their drawing. Tell them that they can share
whatever they want to share, and suggest they begin by reading the sentences
that summarize the picture.
If children agree to share, ask who will go first and begin the process
taking turns. If children are reluctant to share you may share your drawing
first. Read the sentences on the back of your picture. Model a brief show
and tell so they learn that sharing even a little is okay. Then ask if
they have questions about your drawing. Continue taking turns.
After each family member shares his thoughts, ask if it would be okay
for family members to share their reflections about the drawing. If this
is okay, take the first turn and model appropriate, uncritical reflections.
It is important not tocomment about the quality of a picture but to focus
on its content. For example: "Martha, I noticed you are very tiny
in the picture." "Sam, I noticed you used only the black crayon
today." (Words for all to avoid: nice, good, pretty, beautiful, ugly,
Round table discussion
You can promote continuing discussion by sharing a story about the deceased
that is of interest to all family members. Sharing tangible reminders,
letters written in the past or special possessions can inspire reflection.
Closing with a favorite poem, meditation or prayer can help make a comfortable